yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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