i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
