Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
