Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
