also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
