All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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