what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
