Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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