I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
