hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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