doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She said her name was "party"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
