would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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