Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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