He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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