census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize