maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
