So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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