champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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