You made me cry and you don't even care
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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