he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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