no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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