I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
