You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
