never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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