He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
