dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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