When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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