After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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