I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
