How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
