i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
