it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ketchup is God's man juice
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i think my cat just said my name.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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