I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Small penises have feelings too.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
