That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
