I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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