mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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