paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im six kinds of drunk right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
