Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
