small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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