they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
