That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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