He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is wine microwaveable?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
