Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
