have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize