Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
