ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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