If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
