i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize