Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
