Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
