pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
