found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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