do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
