Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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