READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
