i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
