is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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