She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
