As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
