I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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