Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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