I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
