I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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